How to get children to tidy up toys
Case:
"My boy is two years and five months old who likes to pour out all his Lego bricks and other toys, but neither does he play with them nor tidy up. As a mother, should I surrender to the nature of the child, or in what way can I teach him how to tidy up toys by himself?"
Suggestion:
Children around three-year-old like to pour out all the toys, exploring the transformation of space between objects, not the toys themselves. So the original purpose of the child dumping all the Lego bricks from the box may not because he wants to play, but of a feeling that this is done. The child in the case is actually going through this process to satisfy his exploration of space. Parents should give him freedom to explore and let him develop his sensitivity to space.
Parents can keep an eye on him, make sure that the child won't be disturbed when he is focusing on exploration, and provide him with some toys that can cultivate his sense of space. After that, the child may cram his toys into different places. And this is the development of his sense of space.
With regard to tidying up, it is almost impossible to let a two-and-a-half-year-old child know the purpose of this behavior. At this time, parents should set an example for the child, guiding him to tidy up and the child will be aware of this consciousness. This is just like teaching children to put the trash into a trash bin. When you find that your child is ready to finish playing, or pouring out and leave, tell him to tidy up with simple words, don't give extra information. And instead of waiting for him to tidy up, do it with him. Parents must first establish the concept of tidying up to the child, and use the action, like putting a toy back into a box, to demonstrate it.
If the child is not willing to tidy up toys at the time, parents should first find the reason. Does he feel that the toys are difficult to tidy up, or is it because the child still wants to play, or he just doesn't want to tidy up? These are actually irrelevant, and the first two can also be well resolved. If there are too many toys, parents can tidy up with him. If he still wants to play, then wait until he finishes playing. If he is not willing to tidy up, then it is necessary for the adult to establish the rules of tidying up. Parents can set a reasonable time with the child, like tidying up after two minutes or five minutes, let him know the importance of the rule of tidying up. If the child agrees but does not keep his words, then you can tidy up the toys with him. It does not matter that you finish everything, but let the child feel the certainty and importance of the rule of tidying up from you.
What matters the most during this process is to lower your expectation to your child. For example, you need to anticipate the result that your child may not be willing to tidy up at the time, and do not talk with him with emotions because he does not want to. When you calmly tidy up toys with your child, the child can objectively recognize a rule, without conflicting emotions and rules.
If the child is crying because he is unwilling to do, then parents should first listen to his explanation after letting him cry for a while, soothe his emotions, and then guide him to tidy up after his mood is stable. Letting your child know the necessity of tidying up may require several attempts but this is how the rules are established.
"My boy is two years and five months old who likes to pour out all his Lego bricks and other toys, but neither does he play with them nor tidy up. As a mother, should I surrender to the nature of the child, or in what way can I teach him how to tidy up toys by himself?"
Suggestion:
Children around three-year-old like to pour out all the toys, exploring the transformation of space between objects, not the toys themselves. So the original purpose of the child dumping all the Lego bricks from the box may not because he wants to play, but of a feeling that this is done. The child in the case is actually going through this process to satisfy his exploration of space. Parents should give him freedom to explore and let him develop his sensitivity to space.
Parents can keep an eye on him, make sure that the child won't be disturbed when he is focusing on exploration, and provide him with some toys that can cultivate his sense of space. After that, the child may cram his toys into different places. And this is the development of his sense of space.
With regard to tidying up, it is almost impossible to let a two-and-a-half-year-old child know the purpose of this behavior. At this time, parents should set an example for the child, guiding him to tidy up and the child will be aware of this consciousness. This is just like teaching children to put the trash into a trash bin. When you find that your child is ready to finish playing, or pouring out and leave, tell him to tidy up with simple words, don't give extra information. And instead of waiting for him to tidy up, do it with him. Parents must first establish the concept of tidying up to the child, and use the action, like putting a toy back into a box, to demonstrate it.
If the child is not willing to tidy up toys at the time, parents should first find the reason. Does he feel that the toys are difficult to tidy up, or is it because the child still wants to play, or he just doesn't want to tidy up? These are actually irrelevant, and the first two can also be well resolved. If there are too many toys, parents can tidy up with him. If he still wants to play, then wait until he finishes playing. If he is not willing to tidy up, then it is necessary for the adult to establish the rules of tidying up. Parents can set a reasonable time with the child, like tidying up after two minutes or five minutes, let him know the importance of the rule of tidying up. If the child agrees but does not keep his words, then you can tidy up the toys with him. It does not matter that you finish everything, but let the child feel the certainty and importance of the rule of tidying up from you.
What matters the most during this process is to lower your expectation to your child. For example, you need to anticipate the result that your child may not be willing to tidy up at the time, and do not talk with him with emotions because he does not want to. When you calmly tidy up toys with your child, the child can objectively recognize a rule, without conflicting emotions and rules.
If the child is crying because he is unwilling to do, then parents should first listen to his explanation after letting him cry for a while, soothe his emotions, and then guide him to tidy up after his mood is stable. Letting your child know the necessity of tidying up may require several attempts but this is how the rules are established.
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