How to teach a kid to share toys with others (part one)
Here is a complaint from a mom. - "Every time I let his little brother play his toys for a while, my eldest son will scream and grab the toys back even though he doesn't play with. I've told him millions of times that sharing toys with others would be more fun than playing alone, but it doesn't work. How can I teach him to share?"
Let's first take a look at a comment about the results of parents giving away kids' stuff. - "My mom was addicted to giving my stuff to my relatives' kids without asking me. I could only know what she had given when I couldn't find my stuff. Being tired of her "generosity", I threw all her clothes one day and told her if she gave away any of my stuff again, I would tear apart all her clothes. And then I will lock the door of my room when I go out. After that, she has never given away my stuff."
This is an "overreacted" behavior caused by a mother arbitrarily giving away her kid's belongings. Mothers who help kids share things have long brought psychological shadow to their kids. Although the mother who wants to teach her son to share does not give away her kid's toys essentially, for a kid who has not yet established a sense of ownership, in his consciousness, forcing him to share his toys is exactly the same as losing his most beloved thing.
Two preparations before teaching kids to share
Sharing is not equal to giving. Only when kids have the consciousness of ownership and a sense of security will they share their stuff with others.
Ownership awareness
When kids are 2-3 years old, they will stress which items belong to them, like "This is mine!", and keep their own toys tightly so that others cannot touch them. This is an important period for them to form a sense of ownership and at this stage, parents must respect kids' awareness of ownership and can help them label their toys, clothes, etc., tell them they no one can touch their stuff, but equally, they can't touch parents' stuff either.
A sense of security
Even if a kid is aware of ownership, it doesn't mean that he will be willing to share his toys. What is more important is to form a sense of security to him. Some parents may think that toys, clothes are bought by them, so they have the right to give away anything. But in the eyes of the kid, this conduct breaks the concept of his ownership and right. He can't understand how can parents take his stuff away arbitrarily. So he will try to get his own things back by crying, screaming, and become more "selfish".
Therefore, parents must protect the kid's sense of security. When others want the baby's things, parents must first ask the baby's opinion and fully respect it, do not force the kid to give his toys to others. Only let the kid know that he has absolute control over the things that belong to him, will he be willing to share things with others.
After that, let the kid understand that no one can force him to give away what belongs to him and he can decide whether or not others can touch his stuff. Likewise, others have the right to decide if he can play what belongs to them, and he cannot keep what belongs to everyone for himself.
Let's first take a look at a comment about the results of parents giving away kids' stuff. - "My mom was addicted to giving my stuff to my relatives' kids without asking me. I could only know what she had given when I couldn't find my stuff. Being tired of her "generosity", I threw all her clothes one day and told her if she gave away any of my stuff again, I would tear apart all her clothes. And then I will lock the door of my room when I go out. After that, she has never given away my stuff."
This is an "overreacted" behavior caused by a mother arbitrarily giving away her kid's belongings. Mothers who help kids share things have long brought psychological shadow to their kids. Although the mother who wants to teach her son to share does not give away her kid's toys essentially, for a kid who has not yet established a sense of ownership, in his consciousness, forcing him to share his toys is exactly the same as losing his most beloved thing.
Two preparations before teaching kids to share
Sharing is not equal to giving. Only when kids have the consciousness of ownership and a sense of security will they share their stuff with others.
Ownership awareness
When kids are 2-3 years old, they will stress which items belong to them, like "This is mine!", and keep their own toys tightly so that others cannot touch them. This is an important period for them to form a sense of ownership and at this stage, parents must respect kids' awareness of ownership and can help them label their toys, clothes, etc., tell them they no one can touch their stuff, but equally, they can't touch parents' stuff either.
A sense of security
Even if a kid is aware of ownership, it doesn't mean that he will be willing to share his toys. What is more important is to form a sense of security to him. Some parents may think that toys, clothes are bought by them, so they have the right to give away anything. But in the eyes of the kid, this conduct breaks the concept of his ownership and right. He can't understand how can parents take his stuff away arbitrarily. So he will try to get his own things back by crying, screaming, and become more "selfish".
Therefore, parents must protect the kid's sense of security. When others want the baby's things, parents must first ask the baby's opinion and fully respect it, do not force the kid to give his toys to others. Only let the kid know that he has absolute control over the things that belong to him, will he be willing to share things with others.
After that, let the kid understand that no one can force him to give away what belongs to him and he can decide whether or not others can touch his stuff. Likewise, others have the right to decide if he can play what belongs to them, and he cannot keep what belongs to everyone for himself.
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